The last place on God’s green earth I thought I would find a constructive dialogue piece on homosexuality and the Church was Grand Rapids, Michigan. Washington, D.C. certainly, but absolutely NOT theeee bastion of all things conservative and Christian!
But that’s exactly what I found in the play “Seven Passages: The Stories of Gay Christians.”
This production is a 100 minute dramatic piece incorporating 28 stories from gay Christians in the West Michigan area. It tells of their first realizations of same-sex attraction, how they wrestled with those attractions and implications in light of their Christianity, the subsequent fallout (both good and bad) from coming out to their communities, the response from the Church and (lack of) participation in a faith community post-outcoming, and hopes and dreams for their lives and the life of the Church with regards to this “issue.”
The play was not so much theological as it was existential; while it did address some of the theological and biblical issues surrounding homosexuality (hence the use of the seven often quotes Scriptural pericapies as a springboard for the dramatic dialogue), the whole of the production centered on the dual experience of Christians living as followers of Jesus and gay people, and the tragedy and comedy that befell their lives.
Technorati Tags: bible, christianity, church, emerging church, gay christians, homosexuality, seven passages
Needless to say, the issue of homosexuality and the Church is a hot potato. And I really am not going to delve into the theology, sorry. Rather, I want to engage the play on it’s own terms. The majority of Seven Passages dealt with two things: their individual revelations and ensuing reaction. While theological and biblical dialogue is fine and needed, they aren’t when they are exalted at the expense of the “real.” Oftentimes, theology is completely divorced from what is real about the existence of real people. And while the Bible certainly describes what is real about God and His reality, we cannot forget that our interpretations are not and simply scratch the surface of that Reality, often needing revisions in light of new understanding and illumination.
Please do not misunderstand me: the Text is important, and meaning underneath the Text even more.
This post, however, will look at the stories affected by readings of the Text.
One of the common themes in the stories of these 28 Christians was the realization things did not feel right growing up. Each story had a moment when they realized they were attracted to people of their own sex.
And it freaked them out!
Often times the debate swirling around homosexuality within the Church laser beams on the extreme flamboyancy of San Francisco, New Orleans, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, etc…, rather than the lives of normal people who have had an “awakening.” For each of these Christians, there was a moment when they realized there was a piece of them that was very different than their peers, a piece that couldn’t be dismissed through chapter and verse quoting.
Some tried to dismiss the feelings as sin and devices of Satan to entice them away from God. Many strove through much prayer and petition and the astringent cleansing of bible study to wash that piece of them away. Others sought help from counselors and ex-gay groups to try and set them back on the “straight” and narrow (pun intended!). Sadly, a few restored to cutting, pills, and suicide attempts to rid themselves of the demons that haunted them.
In short, there was this early revelation and realization that something deep down was different, that there was this piece of them that did not conform to their understanding of how God wanted things, yet they could not deny their attraction and affection toward the same sex. In response, they were mortified of their self-described abnormality and scared other Christians would find out about their “sinful” piece, or worse, their piece would send them straight to hell!
This newly discovered piece put them in tension between two worlds: the flesh in which they lived had a piece of it that didn’t conform to the community in which they worshiped; they existed in the middle of a body that was pulled in a direction that directly conflicted with the Christianity in which they had been raised.
This tension boiled over into a response and reaction by that community that can only be categorized by one word: hell.
The response was both hell-ish and people responded with hell, as in “you’re going to burn in hell for this.” Literally, their family (especially their family) and Church said that God would send them to hell for having this piece of them that was attracted to “their own kind.” Of course the Bible (and variations of the seven passages in particular) was used to set them straight (again, pun intended!), but usually only had the effect of driving these guys and gals far from God and far from His Text.
One woman said that the reaction from he parents reduced her to “a thing.” She was “a thing living in the basement.” Her parents were so repulsed that they didn’t speak to her for days and weeks. The relationship disintegrated and her humanity was leveled to below a kitchen roach.
The Church’s response was no less.
Most were bared from participating in the life of their church. There was no one to talk to within their community and the pastors were horrified and disinterested, not even desiring to help them sort through their confusing feelings. A minister lost his ministry of 18 years after it came out that he believed himself to be gay. And I think the thing that struck me was how shut-out they were from Jesus’ table. Even if people disagreed with them, the Church was completely unwilling to engage in dialogue and
hear
their
story!
There was no interest to engage them as people created in the image of God nor was there any desire to listen to how their journey brought them to the point in which they were at. No dialogue. No care. No dignity.
No love,
only walls.
Now to be sure, there were some parents that reassured their children of their love and even came to the point of embracing that piece of their son or daughter. But I do not recall a single story where a community of Jesus embraced them and their story, where ever they were and whatever it was.
How sad.
Probably my only beef with the play was when it tried to bring interpretation to the seven passages. Out of the 100 minutes, I would wager 85% was dialogue and personal stories. Which meant only 15 minutes splattered throughout dealt with the Text and tried to bring some fresh meaning and light. Those 15 minutes suffered both because the interpretations were a bit weak, but mostly because you cannot give justice to the Text in 15 minutes scattered throughout a 100 minute piece. How they interpreted was thought provoking, but it suffered from a lack of nuance and time.
But again, that really wasn’t the point of the play. The point was to tell the stories of gay Christians, how they realized that a piece of them was different, their wrestlings with that piece, and the reaction from their familial and faith communities. The mantra “Tell me your story” was their final plea and summation. They urged us to sit-down, shut-up and listen to the stories of followers of Jesus who are trying to reconcile an undeniable piece of them with the Way of Jesus, a reconciliation they admit may be wrong and flawed.
At one point one of the actresses said, “What if we’re wrong and the conservative position is right?”
Now there is naked, honest vulnerability! But here’s the thing: Is the Church (particularly the conservative evangelical kind) willing to make the same statement? Is the Church willing to say, “might we have our understanding of homosexuality all wrong?”
It’s only in the midst of relationships, with the Textual Story and the stories of gay Christians, that we will ever be able to answer both questions well and truthfully. And that’s what this this play taught me.
-jeremy
glad to hear that all is not lost for Grand Rapids. i am a Michigander myself by birth and while i never had to do time in GR, my brother has told me horror stories . thanks for posting.
Jeremy,
You write that the play, “Seven Passages: The Stories of Gay Christians” deals with two things, namely people’s “revelations” about their sexuality and their ensuing reactions. Then you write that the play taught you it is only in the midst of relationships with the Bible and the lives of gay Christians that we will ever be able to answer the questions surrounding this issue well and truthfully.
What I’m taking from this is that better conversations between gays and Evangelical Christians need to happen, but this will not be possible until both sides are willing to approach the issue with some degree of vulnerability, exercising great humility. This, of course, I couldn’t agree with more. Your question to the evangelical community is a powerful one: “Is the Church willing to say, ‘might we have our understanding of homosexuality all wrong’?”
I can see how many conservative Christians (like me) would balk at such a question (and I nearly did), because it seems you are asking them to doubt. You are asking them to be what they call a “weak Christian,” in a sense. Granted it is not bad to have uncertainty or to ask questions, but too many people do not remember this. Furthermore it is emotionally taxing to rethink and wrestle with topics that were once settled. Most do not have the motivation or desire to give that much of them selves to something, especially when it doesn’t concern them or someone they care about.
Interestingly enough, this is changing. Most Christians DO know someone they care about who struggles with same-sex attraction. The church seems to be using this time to dig its heels firmly into long-held doctrines so as to present a united and resolved front. That’s good, except for the fact that I don’t see fruitful conversations happening. I don’t see the Church being a good listener, “sitting down over coffee” with these folks, so to speak. I feel like the Church at large is more concerned with being right than it is with actually helping people with this problem.
In all its passion to advocate for change, the Church needs to remember that they should not an “agenda.” Christians need to stop telling the homosexuality community how to live, because they are not interested. They do not accept the Bible or our God. What they do understand, however, is love. They get forgiveness and all the virtues, which they should see lived out in the lives of Christ-followers.
We should be interested in helping people, above all else. I want the man who believes he is so different from other men (so much less masculine) to experience a satisfying wholeness with regards to his manliness. I want him to know that he has a right and freedom to make a different choice and to “explore” a different way of life (heterosexuality) without hurting himself or others. I want the hurting man to be affirmed in his insecurities and to be free from the jealousy of the male figure. I want this man to know that he is good enough to be loved by a woman and to be a father and have a family. Most gay men want those things—they desperately (and secretly) long for them. And they can have them, because God is all about healing and redemption. That is His business, after all. Who are we to get in His way!?
Oh Father, teach us how to contend for truth without being contentious. Teach us how to love the gay community!
~Chris
Yes, Chris, dialogue must happen…and it isnt. I think it’s funny that you wrote even proposing the question “What if the Church has it wrong?” would cause people to think of themselves or the Church as “weak Christians.” For Jews, this wouldnt even be an issue, because you were a “weak Jew” for NOT asking questions! That’s why throughout the gospels Jesus (I think) only directly answers people 3 times. The rest he posses questions in order to make a point but also spur conversation.
Yes wrestling is taxing and draining and scary, but whats the alternative? Siting in ignorance and un-truth? Believing the un-real? Or even worse…forcing others to BE or SUPRESS un-real?
For me the alternative is scarier…
And I think that’s what some of us are wrestling with regarding this issue: what is real and what does it mean for people to live out what is real about who they are, how they’ve been created, and MUCH more importantly:
what is real about God and His reality.
So lets converse and wrestle as a Community of Jesus, and let’s love each other and the world in the midst of that wrestling…
-jeremy
mmmm. Good post.
I really appreciated the article that Jeremy wrote but I wanted to quickly point something out about Chris’s reply:
“I want the man who believes he is so different from other men (so much less masculine) to experience a satisfying wholeness with regards to his manliness. I want him to know that he has a right and freedom to make a different choice and to “explore” a different way of life (heterosexuality) without hurting himself or others. I want the hurting man to be affirmed in his insecurities and to be free from the jealousy of the male figure. I want this man to know that he is good enough to be loved by a woman and to be a father and have a family. Most gay men want those things—they desperately (and secretly) long for them.”
This particular part sounds like it’s straight out of Exodus International’s lecture series, and I easily recognize this vein of thought being a gay Christian who struggled for many years in the ex-gay movement. I don’t want to argue here. But I want to sincerely ask you to move outside of this “box” and stop reducing all of us to insecure men who don’t feel masculine and fear intimacy with women. We are well aware of our freedom and choices and we openly desire and appreciate families as most people do. All these preconceived notions about who we are, what we look like and how we tick does nothing to foster a healing relationship between gay people and the Christian community.
Hey Joey!
Thanks for dropping by n•l 🙂 I think your point about how gays are stereotyped by (conservative) Christians is an important one. And if you’re not a Christian (meaning you yourself have stepped out of that camp or never joined!), then I’m sorry for how you and your friends have been burned by the Church. And if you are, then I grieve with you over the preconceived notions and barriers within the Church that “do nothing to foster a healing relationship between gay people and the Christian community” and further divide our “family.”
Anyway, thanks again for your thoughts and I hope you stick around to share more!
-jeremy
Joey, I also wanted to thank you for the response. You give me much to think about. I never want to be so narrow that I cannot understand others; I only want to be narrow enough to keep my brains from falling out (not sure I know what that balance looks like yet).
The ex-gay community changed my life in great ways. It sounds as though your experience was very different, and if I’m wrong about that, there are many others who had negative experiences. This is a difficult reality for me sometimes, because I have always thought that if the gospel isn’t true for these men, then it can’t be for me either.
I don’t know what to do with that quandary. For now I just want to make sure I am loving people how Jesus would, which is something Jeremy challenges me with. I was the man you warned me about reducing others to, and I certainly do not want to think in a box; rather, I want to understand. I want to connect with people and feel their struggle and shoulder it with them as much as I am called to do so.
~Chris
Hey Chris:
Your thoughts about “connect.with people, feel…….struggle…..shoulder……loving how Jesus loved” is the meat of the matter! Christians, in my opinion, can be some of the most critical, and judgmental species on two feet. I hope you find someone, if you haven’t already, who will give you what you are so willing to give to others.
In their book, The Conscious Life, the authors Dr. Louis Cox and Fran Cox unpack the difference between Grownup and Adult. I just began this read and it is poignant and discerning. One of their principles is, “You are over there and I am over here, and it is OK.”
Although they are not Believers, much can be assimilated from them.
You have a great friend in Jeremy Bouma…stay close to him!
Barry
You might find ‘Stranger at the Gate” by Mel White (available on Amazon) and interesting book. It refers to all that is in this post regarding the fears and loss of hope and much more concerning the ‘religious right’ and how they got so much power (hint, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell might come to mind). .The book is written by a priest who was married with two children and lovely wife, but was gay and couldn’t take it anymore..living a lie.