It came out of no where.
Actually, no. I saw it coming.
He didn’t stop, and followed his friend…and just didn’t stop.
I tried to stop, damn it. I couldn’t in time. And I knew it.
I would have hit him, so I turned my wheel to go around him.
But that didn’t work.
I swerved and spun.
And swooshed in front of a group of five or six cars.
I missed them.
God, how did I miss them?
And then She (my car) slid up a curb and landed on an embankment.
Facing the other direction.

And I’m alive.

Tonight I should have died.
God could have taken my life this evening.
But He gave it back to me instead.

GOD GAVE ME BACK MY LIFE.

I’m still processing how profound that is, this whole 8 second experience.
In 8 seconds–actually if the 8 seconds were 3 seconds later–I could have died.
Tonight.
I should have plowed into at least five other cars.
But didn’t.
I don’t understand it.
I guess I don’t need to understand it.

All I need to understand is that God gave me back my life tonight.

And in my numbness, in my white-faced, dumbstruck numbness I don’t know what to do
or how to react
or how to be
or feel
or think

The only thing I can think to do is to cry
and hand my life back to Him.
But even that seems silly….

Tonight I should have died.
And for the first time, ever,
I thanked God that I am alive.
I thanked God
that I am
alive.

I’m still alive
and I don’t know what to do…

-jeremy

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