Last evening I attended a GLBT event at a local university with a friend of mine. He thought it would be a good event for me to attend as I wrestle with how the Church should respond to and interact with the gay community.
At the event we watched a short film on gay and lesbian young adults/teenagers coming out to their parents and the subsequent parental response. It was interesting to see how the parents responded in agony, not necessarily for them but more so for their child. It was also interesting to see how the families faith and church experience played a huge part in how they responded: almost all of their responses were rooted in both their church’s teachings and also out of fear with how that church would respond; whether Morman, Southern Baptist, Hindu, or Jewish, all families confirmed an abnormal condemnation and subsequent segregation for this particular “sin.” In their minds, their child’s self-proclaimed identity (not even necessarily their behavior) was so wretched that the only response was grief, condemnation, and separation from the Church.
Afterwards, a panel discussed the short film and their own experiences with the gay community: two men were gay, one lady was a mother of a gay son and was the president of a local GLBT community organization, and another was a college student lesbian who was the head of the local GLBT college group. Most of the dialogue centered on the film, but there was a moment where we glimpsed the Church’s response to their community and THEM.
“I had to leave the faith…and I haven’t gone back since” was the response of one of the gay men on the panel in response to a comment on West Michigan’s cultural response to the gay community (which is largely, predomenantly Christian, well above the national average of self-proclaimed Christians and regular church goers).
What he really meant by “leaving the faith” was that he left his faith community. He was forced to leave the Church and segregate to other spheres of society to find community and love, entirely at the expense of encountering God and growth through the teachings of Jesus.
Folks,
I am
sick
and tired
and disgusted
by the Church’s response to the gay community, and particularly to individual people who are wrestling with and identify themselves as being gay.
That response amounts to nothing short of sexual segregation:
Gay people are forced out of the community of the Church and have little to no safe space to figure out who they are, while still worshiping God and living out their faith in Jesus in authentic community.
Rather than embracing people in all of their fullness (whether they agree with the pieces of that fulness or not), the Church rejects.
Rather than providing safe space to wrestle and worship, the Church alienates.
Rather than serve and love this community, the Church defends and condemns.
So the only recourse for gay people (whether Christian or not) to find community is at 1) gay bars and 2) gay clubs, completely divorced from God-encountering space and Jesus’ transformational community of love.
It is time for the Church to rethink its table fellowship.
Rethink
and
repent.
Now is the time for Church Inc. to repent for closing and locking the doors to God’s community, fiercely guarding Jesus’ table, and arrogantly deciding who is in and who is out.
Instead may Jesus’ Building offer safe space for ALL who are weary and burdened down with life to find rest and shelter. May the Flock offer true community and human acceptance for those who are alienated. And may the Branch truly provide the life giving sustenance to all people, irregardless of who people are, but especially the gay community.
I’m reminded of the heat Jesus took for eating with sinners, and his response that it’s the sick who need the doctor. I think the church is worried about giving implicit approval to the homosexual world by welcoming them into fellowship. But our focus on the sinfulness of homosexuality creates a strong message of rejection, of being incurably ill and rejected by God. That wasn’t Christ’s approach at all, and we need to have his mind and heart towards gays who come searching for God.
Amen. I wrote a piece for emerging women that you might appreciate, which I titled “butt sex” for shock value. You’ve inspired me — I may dig it out and publish it again. Apparently, it’s the third most popular google search that lands people at emerging women 🙂
Jeremy,
I admire you for going to this event, seeing the film and listening compassionately to the stories. Your post reminded me of something Dallas Willard wrote in his book Divine Conspiracy. Willard wrote that if Jesus were telling the Good Samaritan story today, the hero might very well be “the Good Homosexual.”
As a pastor I deplore the fear-generated, hate-motivated exile of gay Christian people from the larger Christian community. BTW, the Scriptures *never* address the reality of a deeply-committed follower of Jesus who is also gay. Not one of “the seven passages.” While I am still wondering what to do about this “issue,” I do not have to wonder what to do with the people who struggle—Jesus said to love God and to love people as you love yourself.
The knee-jerk homophobic response of most Christians sickens me as well.
Yes! You get it. Your commentors get it. The church has to eventually change… right? Our generation has to change the attitude. Even though i’m a seminary grad, as I wrestle with my sexuality and perhaps entering a dating realtionship with another man, I already feel some of the heat from my Christian “community.” Talk of evoking Matt 18 and ceasing communication with me.
They don’t get it. And they won’t listen to me because I am “one of them” ….. I have found an online community of gay Christians. But most of the churches that accept gay people neuter the gospel and the power of our Lord. It is no wonder so many young gay people leave the church all together and find their community with only gay people.
Its bigotry. Its bias. And I really wrestle with getting bitter at the church for how far off they are on this issue and how many people they are hurting so that they can feel comfortable in their bubbles.
well said. i would go a step farther though and say they don’t just deserve a table at church but that the church should fight to help them receive seats at the table in the larger culture. socially and legally. to do the first without the second is hollow.
Jeremy –
You have inspired me to write a post about how we can be opposed to same gender sexual activity yet welcome homosexuals into fellowship.
I don’t think it’s either/or. I know homosexuals who accept, even desire to be challenged on their sexual behavior. I also know heterosexuals who love homosexuals yet consider same gender sexual activity unhealthy and unholy.
The Church can, and in some cases, does, welcome homosexuals without compromising clear Biblical teaching.
Pistol Pete,
The church can “welcome homosexuals without compromising clear Biblical teaching.” In your view, what exactly is the clear bibllical teaching that might be compromised?
“But most of the churches that accept gay people neuter the gospel and the power of our Lord. It is no wonder so many young gay people leave the church all together and find their community with only gay people.”
Thanks for that Pomo. I was going to add something to that affect in my post behind numbers 1 and 2 of the only recourse for gay people for community. That has been a large concern of mine recently. If those churches who truly provide space through which people can encounter God and learn about and lean into Jesus and His way refuse to embrace the Other (in this case the gay community), then the only ‘faith-space’ for them is a biblically illfunctioning universalist church! Thanks for expressing what I couldn’t (or didn’t know how…) to express.
And yes, Josh, it does seem hollow for the church to simply add chairs to our table without insisting that same for the Empire, doesn’t it?
And John, exile is a GREAT word! Even in the midst of disagreement over the ‘issue’, the alienation and rejection the Church has caused is indeed sick, especially since the old UNDERSTANDING of ‘biblical teachings’ is beginning to sag under the weight of under both existential AND biblical discourse.
Good thoughts, folks, and thanks for engaging!
-jeremy
PS-Yes, Pistol, “In your view, what exactly is the clear bibllical teaching that might be compromised?”
I don’t actually believe that you can love the sinner/hate the “sin” if the “sin” is a core part of a person’s identity, at least if you are thinking about the sin and your condemnation of it as you engage with the person, on account of being “careful” not to condone the sin. In a sense a person IS their sexual identity in as much as a person is short or extraverted or quiet by nature.
Is there anywhere in the Bible where homosexuality is approved of or encouraged or even condoned? Can anyone show me?
-Jason
jason.
that’s the wrong kind of question to ask if you don’t believe the bible is a static, concrete document that mandates certain things regardless of context, place, and community.
i could just as easily ask is there anywhere in the bible where the trinity is approved of or encouraged or even condoned. it’s after all not spelled out. and it’s absence doesn’t make it a litmus test.
i’m not arguing for one position or the other to be honest. nor does it appear jeremy’s post is either. rather i think he’s arguing for a hermeneutic of love and a posture of humility in receiving and embracing the other.
thanks for the question Jason. But I and others think a better one is this: where in God’s Text to Humanity does he condemn gay people who are in committed monogamous relationships?
I wonder about the larger questions … about how the Church accepts, even elevates, gluttons and misers and liars and thieves and bullies … all sinners, to the very core of their being, but cannot accept this small slice of humanity. Why is that? All of those sins are expressly, overtly and repeatedly given some very negative press in Scripture. But we don’t hear about them very much. For instance, there’s the bit about “sell all that you have and follow Me.” Then there’s this bit … it was given in the form of a commandment, the second (in fact) “love your neighbor as yourself.” For myself, I can’t get away from those hard parts of scripture. The parts that inform me about who I am first. I have so much to work on … that there is very little time or energy to worry about anyone else’s sin (or define it … it’s not up to me to play the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life) … I have just enough to left over to love them.
Well I guess I’m just confused. I thought that homosexuality is a sin and as far as I know the Bible condemns it being an abomination to God among other things like lying, drunkenness and haughtiness. So you see, Sonja, I’m not casting stones here I’m just saying that all of these sins are on the same playing field.
Does the Bible need to be eminently clear and thorough on homosexual lifestyles to make it a sin? I don’t think so. In Galatians we are given a list of deeds that set themselves against the Spirit with whom we should be striving to be in step. I’m pretty sure there are a lot of things covered there in Galatians, not to mention that it’s blatantly obvious that God didn’t intend for men to have sex with other men nor for women to have sexual relations with other women.
Jeremy, you’re all about what God intended. Do you think God intended homosexual lifestyles?
I think it’s pretty clear and has always been pretty clear that homosexual lifestyles are wrong in God’s sight and we should fight against it. Don’t get me wrong when I say we should fight against it. I’m just as fed up with the Church not loving like it’s supposed to and I totally agree with all who say that we should love and accept homosexuals but we’re certainly not supposed to tell them it’s ok to live in sin. We wouldn’t tell a child molester that it’s ok to molest children as long as you come to church on Sunday morning would we? We wouldn’t even allow them to entertain the thought! Do you want your wife to go to a church that says it’s ok to be an adulterer? I don’t think so and I wouldn’t want my wife, children, friends, and family hearing this kind of heresy either.
As Christians we are to strive for holiness and are appointed to help others do the same, yes, in love. But there shouldn’t be found among us even a hint of the notion that it’s ok to live in any sin. We are to wage war against the flesh, against the powers and principalities that wage war against our souls and we are to stop at nothing to eradicate sin from our lives.
I need a loving community just as much as ANYONE but one thing I need very much from that loving community is accountability and edification to help me wage my own wars with my sin.
Jason
I think the question here is not “is homosexuality or leading a homosexual lifestyle (whatever that means) a sin?” The question is “how should our churches properly love those who are homosexual/lead homosexual lifestyles?”
Going along the lines of “whatever is not love is sin” then I think a re-evaluation of how homosexuals are treated in our churches is in order.
A question: Is love inclusive or exclusive? Does God have a love that is just for some or does he have a love that is for all? Since we are not in charge of deciding right and wrong for everyone else, once someone has made a decision, we are simply commanded to love them. I think the speck in the eye/beam in the eye problem is most applicable here.
Yes, there is a level of accountability- but 1) with accountability both parties need to agree that there is something in which accountability is necessary and 2) accountability should occur by people with a strong relationship. Whatever you believe, this is a tender issue and only a close friend should be trusted with this sort of thing. This is an issue of relationships and if we hack up a homosexual’s sense of relationship, we really hack them up.
I believe Christians (myself included) tend to be so focused on not sinning that we forget what it means to truly love.
So I don’t think the biggest issue here is whether or not homosexuality is a sin. Everyone has their opinion- there is good reasoning on both sides of the argument.
The biggest issue here is the general exclusion (and berating) of GLBT people which drives them out of our churches and out of the faith.
Yes, Michael, I am NOT asking the question “is homosexuality or leading a homosexual lifestyle (whatever that means) a sin?” but rather “how should our churches properly love those who are homosexual/lead homosexual lifestyles?”
Jesus’ radical table fellowship with the Other regardless of who they were BEGS a radical hospitality toward the Other from His Body, the Church.
And for USAmerican Church, Inc. the Other is the gay community. Hands down. In the same way the maws of USAmerican Church Inc. have consumed african-americans and regurgitated them all over our urban centers, so USAmerican Church Inc. has ravaged thousands of gay people.
That calls for repentance, regardless of the hamartiological understanding of homosexuality.
That’s what this post is about, and I hope I can lean into that high-bar mark this year by engaging the gay community in Grand Rapids, MI…
Michael, you’re right and I feel as though I’ve veered off subject but I suppose some of the comments above that illuded to homosexual lifestyles being non-chalant urged me to get out my soap box.
Jason
and thank you for your soapbox Jason! I (and I’m sure WE) appreciate it 🙂
my hope for this space is that anyone can “soap box” (that’s a verb, btw…) to opine, inform, AND keep people accountable to the Text, while making room for disagreement and contrary interpretations.
again, thanks jason and I hope you come back often…
-jeremy
Jason,
I appreciate your honesty. I believe that anyone who engages the topic of the place of gay people in the life of the church, especially deeply- committed-to-Jesus-gay-Christians, does not do so in a “non-chalant” manner. This topic is too sensitive and even too volitile. I find that those who are most trivial and non-chalant about this issue are the gay-bashing, ‘God-hates-fagots’ Christians. Those are the ones, in my opinion, who are farthest away from Jesus’ command to love out neighbor as ourselves.